I casually mentioned online the other day to Scott that my alter ego, 8 year old Alex, loves to pull pranks on people. This particular, some would say, unsavoury trait started early on in my life. And for good reason. It was more about revenge on my older brothers who, themselves, love to prank me, their younger sweet innocent sister. Was I ever sweet and innocent? Who knows.
The thing is, when we lived abroad, which was pretty much all my young life, we lived in countries prone to hosting a lot of creepy crawly insects and really BIG bugs. Never mind lizards, snakes, spiders, scorpions, and a million weird ass looking beetles … no, silly, not those Beetle.
The things is, they loved to collect said bugs and beasties and, well, hide them in my bedroom and worse, in my bed especially. So much so, it got to the point I stopped screaming and started insisting that I would not go to bed till my dad had cleared the room as if sweeping for mines and other explosive ordinance. It became a nightly ritual.
As a result, of course, I slowly became desensitised to said creepy crawlies to the point I could even handle them myself and, took to boxing bugs for release into my brother’s beds and worse, into their clothes draws and wardrobe.
Well, of course both parents took exception to the mini war of attrition taking place under their roof every time my dad was posted somewhere exotic. We were, at one point, all lined up like the Von Trapp children, lectured by both parents, and threatened to be grounded till we were all thirty!
Needless to say, I think I secretly had the last word in that war as I moved from bugs and creepy crawlies, which I then collected and stuck pins in (don’t @ me) to more nefarious and devious tricks and pranks. Like adding salt to the sugar bowl, sticking dead ants into strawberry tarts, or swapping out the raisins in those mini raising boxes for rabbit droppings. A friend had taught me that one.
Of course, I took this approach with every bully I’ve ever encountered over the years, in finding a way to prank them. In the military this extended to putting boot polish on the black toilet seats so that when guys sat down they got booted as we called it. We also did cling film over the toilet bowl and urinals.
Some of the best fun was filling condoms and medical gloves with, eh, solutions, and then placing (balancing) them in strategic places to cause the most damage to peoples dignity and self respect, never mind, clothes.
We, meaning me and my cohorts, could be ruthless. So, be warned, don’t cross me as I will figure out a way to prank you good and proper, and usually, in public.
𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
